Monday, September 29, 2014

University of Florida Zombie Attack Plan

Though it's clearly done in jest, it does give one pause to consider that the University of Florida has, on its official website, a page advising students what to do if a zombie attack occurs on campus. A number of other serious organizations, including FEMA and the CDC, have held mock "zombie attack drills" as a way of framing the idea of emergency preparedness in a hipster kinda way, what with the popularity of zombies in popular culture like The Walking Dead.

But what is a zombie, really, and is the term being floated in a way meant to condition citizens for a day when the streets really are filled with shuffling, insane, dangerous freaks who have lost their souls and lost their minds and can no longer be reasoned with?

We already live in a world where the IQ of humanity has demonstratably already hit its peak in the 1950s and 1960s and is now in decline. A world where, like that of the film Idiocracy, it's becoming harder and harder in our current civilization to find safe and sane people who can follow the plot of a comic book without getting confused. Things are already falling apart but no one's paying much attention. We're all being dulled by a whirlwind of toxins hurled at us from all directions - fluoride, cosmic rays, radioactive materials, mercury-tainted vaccines, GMOs, high fructose corn syrup, car exhaust, Big Pharma's antidepressants, street drugs, Chinese drywall, hydrogen sulfide, and who knows what else. Throw in a crumbling economy and you've really got the recipe for an "Us vs. Them" future.

Stay frosty out there, kids.

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