Skyway Jack's

Skyway Jack's is a primitive old roadside diner on 34th street in St. Petersburg. It doesn't sound like my kind of place - especially after reading Urbanspoon - but their strange menagerie of decorative figures out front gives me a chuckle. So does the policeman pig painted on their window!

The Shake Pit

Though there's all sorts of delicious expensive gelatos, fancy frozen yogurts, and exotic smoothies to be had on the Gulf Coast, I find myself immediately drawn to The Shake Pit every time I roll into Bradenton. It's an old mom-and-pop relic that has been dishing out the old-fashioned milkshakes since 1959. Their milkshake selection ranges from the traditional usual suspects to more out-there selections like peanut butter and watermelon. My personal favorite is their Coke milkshake, which is not just a milkshake with Coke added but actually uses the pure uncut Coca-Cola syrup straight from their soda-fountain tanks to provide the flavor.

The Shake Pit was plugged in a 2004 Marvin comic strip. I'm not sure whether this means the strip takes place in Bradenton, or if Marvin's family was vacationing, or if it's just one of those comics-world surrealisms not to be analyzed too deeply.

Gas

Gas Full Service Restaurant, locally known simply as "Gas", is currently my favorite eat-house on the enchanting Anastasia Island. It's located at 9 Anastasia Boulevard, just before you run out of island and go over the Bridge of Lions to St. Augustine's Colonial Quarter.

They've got a super-deep craft beer selection (I think this is the first time I've ever had Green Flash West Coast IPA in a restaurant) and their menu is filled with unique goodies like the espresso-rubbed steak (pictured below) and strawberry-datil pepper ice cream (they do love their datils down here!) It's located on the premises of a former gas station, hence the name, and they run with it by using a fun retro gas-station decor scheme. Get there early as you can because it's a small place and there's often a line, but it's worth the wait, Jack.

A lot of people like to swan into a joint and then swan right back out again; when I go into a place I'm there for the long haul, and I can think no better place on Anastasia Island than Gas to set up camp and hold court.

Mosaic at Settimi's

Something about Florida inspires its dwellers to really excel at mosaic artwork, and here's a fine example: some of the great mosaic work outside Settimi's Gelato, a great ice-creamery on one of my favorite islands, St. Armand's Key.

TV at the Table?

I'm not going to name the restaurant in question - because in the interest of positivity I won't (often) use this blog to specifically "call out" places I dislike even when they really really really deserve it - but who thought it was a great idea to have a television set at every table at this Anna Maria Island eatery? I mean, aren't we bombarded with video monitors enough already without having high-frequency radioactive tentacles trying to suck out our brains while trying to enjoy a nice distraction-free meal and conversation on a gulf coast island?

I almost turned around and left when I saw that. And when the poorly-made drinks arrived in the hands of a bored and uncaring waitress, I knew I shoulda gone with my instinct.

When I eventually open my own Steampunk-Tiki bar in Florida, the Pulcova Club, rest assured, there will be NO television sets. At all. Except maybe over the urinals I'll put little TVs that play nothing but random loops of Yma Sumac and Korla Pandit.

I will probably also eventually set up some sort of organization that seeks to convince as many Florida bars and restaurants as possible to go TV-free, or least cut back on turning their customers' brains to mush with nonstop broadcast crap. All in time.