Islands Without Names

Sitting recently on the patio at one of my new favorite restaurants, the Casey Key Fish House, I stared out at the island you see pictured above. Curious about what it was, I made a mental note to look for it on the map when I got home. It shouldn't have surprised me to find that Google Maps listed no name for this island - they don't know the names of most of the islands out there. But when I went to Flash Earth - which usually is an excellent resource for determining the nomenclature of even some of the tiniest sandbars - I got nothing.

This will not do.

As I've ranted elsewhere in this venue, I simply cannot abide unnamed islands. Most of the thousands of Florida islands, if you believe the maps, aren't named - but way back in the days of old when ships were bold just like the men who sailed them, I am certain that every freakin' teensy-tiny key, isle, islet, atoll, archipelago and half-sunken sandbar had some sort of name assigned to it. Sailors had their own names for them which varied from man to man, and locals had their own names for them too. And if you want to go all the way back, the indigenous tribes who were here first undoubtedly had a name for each of them. It's up to someone to slog through the dusty old records of the past, glean this data, and drag it back to present time.

And of course, that someone is probably going to have to be me.

Raccoons of Lido Key

Last week while sitting in my car on the southern end of Lido Key plotting my next move, several different raccoons scampered out of the woodwork. They're apparently quite familiar with the ways of humans - most of whom have probably been feeding the raccoons - because the moment they heard the sound of my car windows rolling down, they came a-runnin'. I had to quickly roll the windows back up or they most certainly would have climbed in to greet me.

Hukilau Hut Food Truck

The wacky mobile food truck for Sarasota's Hukilau Hut in Sarasota.

Crab & Fin

Many of my favorite Florida eateries just happen to be on my favorite island St. Armand's Key. Therefore, it was only by a rare juxtaposition of fate that I even tried a new place, but all my usual spots were packed with long lines waiting. (Hey, how many times do I have to be a frequent eater and big tipper at Columbia Restaurant before they start giving me VIP treatment anyway?) A date and I swanned into Crab & Fin, right across the street from my tobacconist Bennington's (okay, okay, they're all my tobacconist). I was lured over by the strains of hip piano jazz being be-bopped live on the patio, and though I came for the show tunes, I stayed for the steak.

As you probably are sick of hearing about by now, I'm always on the quest for the perfect Mai Tai - and Crab & Fin are in the running for my Top Five charts. Tell 'em I sent you by!

Mary Woronov

Some people seem to always be in the right place at the right time. Take Mary Woronov, who was born in Palm Beach, Florida (in the Breakers Hotel, in fact) in 1943. By the mid-60s she'd somehow become one of Andy Warhol's "Superstars" and was a dancer with the Exploding Plastic Inevitable (with music provided by The Velvet Underground).

And from there, Woronov parlayed herself into an acting career that somehow managed to perfectly span a half century of hipsterdom. She appeared in the 1966 Warhol film Chelsea Girls; the 1974 cult horror flick Silent Night, Bloody Night with John Carradine and Candy Darling; 1975's Death Race 200; the classic Ramones movie Rock and Roll High School (as the Joan Crawford-ish principal Miss Togar); Heartbeeps (with Andy Kaufman and Bernadette Peters); 1982's Eating Raoul; 1989's Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills (the film that prompted a psychotic fan to kill Rebecca Schaeffer); 1990's Dick Tracy with Warren Beatty and Madonna; and Rob Zombie's The Devil's Rejects in 2005. Additionally she made guest appearances in many TV series including Charlie's Angels, Webster, Highlander, Murder She Wrote, Knight Rider, Mr. Belvedere, Logan's Run, St. Elsewhere, Wings, Taxi, and My So-Called Life.

And if that's not enough, she's also an accomplished painter. What've you done lately?

Bird Key

Just off the bridge between Sarasota and St Armand's Key you'll find Bird Key, a tiny little island that's mostly taken up by lavish mansions of wealthy Floridians But it does have a lovely little public hangout area. I spend a lot of time here chillin' and cigar-tasting.

Primrose Path

Not only have I been on Easy Street, I've walked the Primrose Path - and it's on Siesta Key of all places. Who knew?