Florida Man

Meet "Florida Man", the world's worst superhero!

You see him everywhere, every day, in the news, his latest exploits, foibles and follies, with headlines such as "Florida man run over by van after dog pushes accelerator" or "Police arrest Florida man for drunken joy ride on motorized scooter at Wal-Mart." And, like Kenny on South Park, Florida Man often dies but inexplicably comes back for more mishaps.

Florida Man has become an Internet meme that centers around news stories and articles about unusual or strange crime or events occurring in Florida, in which the headline usually refers to the subject as "Florida Man". The Sunshine State has an especial notoriety for generating bizarre news stories, and our hero Florida Man personifies the legend. It's all part of the cognitive dissonance that Interzone so adeptly manufactures for itself, being a magnet for marginal people doing sketchy things in the most fringey way.

The diligent fans keeping track of Florida Man's adventures are legion, and you can find them on Twitter and Reddit and damn near any news outlet. (His erstwhile sidekick, "Florida Woman", has also made a name for herself.)

Is it the hydrogen sulfide responsible for Florida Man and his army of zombies? The Red Tide? Or just weird drugs like Flakka? Either way, there's somethin' happening here, what it is ain't exactly clear.

Stay vigilant, my friends.

The File Clerks

Some of you may have noticed that I've been churning out puzzling little pieces of piffle on Soundcloud lately. Though for a few years I've been laying low from my old sideline as a purveyor of sample-delic random avant-garde noise, I'm back in the game. For a while, at least, until I get distracted by something else. As with my recent forays into digital abstract art, I don't take it seriously at all and neither should you.

The new project is called Jeffrey Scott Holland & the File Clerks, or simply File Clerks for short. It's basically me, a bunch of laptops and synthesizers, and sometimes various other people I collaborate with at any given time, like my old Cheeseburger & Fries accomplice, J.T. Dockery.

The File Clerks take a wide survey of the digital music field, including but not limited to: jazz, noise, ambient, chill, chillout, dub, industrial, techno, trance, house, acid, drone, glitch, dubstep, dark wave, vaporwave, brostep, brutalwave, hip-hop, trip-hop, goa, and many other sub-sub-subgenres uncategorizable and as yet unnamed by the increasingly aspergian kids of today. Mind you, it's important to note that this is impressionism at its utmost; just because I make dubstep records doesn't mean I like dubstep or that I even truly understand the genre. But there they are.

Jump in here and swim around awhile. A couple of my personal favorites: "To The Cloud" and "Molecules By Night". Oh yeah, and "Insouciant". Headphones recommended.

Raccoon Rides Gator

They say "man bites dog" is news, and I think "raccoon rides gator" is too. This picture has been making the rounds in the media lately, showing a deceptively pleasant scene of animal interaction. But according to this article, the raccoon was only on the alligator's back for a few seconds before the gator slid into the water and the raccoon hopped off. Richard Jones, who was in Ocala National Forest on vacation, managed to click the picture at precisely the right moment.

As the article also mentions, alligators and raccoons are natural enemies. Scientists say gator feces usually turns out to contain raccoon, while most baby alligators and unhatched gator eggs fall prey to raccoons.

Windshield Geckos

When you come out to your car in the garage in the morning and find Mediterranean Geckos crawling on it, apparently fearless of the rubber white alligator on the dashboard.

St. Petersburg Street Musician

Spotted recently in a park in St. Petersburg: this amazing performer who was set up with an accordion and xylophone, both miked and run through an effects rack. Sometimes he would play the xylophone with his right hand while playing accordion with the left, and then sometimes he would use a device to sample himself on the xylophone and set it up in a loop while he played accordion with both hands. Brilliant stuff. I was tempted to stick around and ask him if he wanted to join The File Clerks.